The Questionnaire That Started It All

After deciding to write this book, I quickly realized I did not have enough personal experience to do it alone. I developed this questionnaire to use as a template for my conversations and also had women complete then return it.

I complied over 100 in person, over the phone, and writted interviews.

If I could afford it, and could remember them all, I would send everyone woman that contributed to this book a fruit basket. They are the backbone, the motivation and the voice of this book.

I am forever indebited and forever thankful.


I am writing a book on relationships between women including friends, families, and co-workers. It is important that I gather as much insight directly from a diverse group of women who participate in these relationships so that the final book is about ALL women, not just me, and what I feel.

Please be as open and honest as possible. You do not need to use names and your name would never be used. The more descriptive the explanation the better.

I don't think it takes a lot for us to all be healthier and happier in our friendships. It is my sincere hope that this book will at least promote the conversation and empower women in their roles as friends. Thank you SO much for taking time to fill this out. You have no responsibility to me or my dream. Therefore, this means more to me than I can express. Don't hesitate to call me with any questions/comments/suggestions.What is your definition of a toxic person?

What has been your most toxic relationship with a woman (include why you identify it as toxic)?

How long have you known her and are you still in a relationship with her now?

How did you contribute to the toxicity of the relationship?

If you had to write a definition of what friendship is what would it be? (no dictionary!)

What is the most important aspect of a friendship (ex: honestly, consistency, availability) and why?

Honestly! What are your most toxic traits? How do you know they are toxic? How are you trying to improve?

Have you experienced a toxic relationship within your family or workplace? If so, how?

How do you deal with toxic people?

Please share any other toxic relationships/people you encounter(ed) that have influenced how you view relationships with women.

These questions are simple. It's the answers that are complex. The answers can be revealing, confusing it even painful. They can be intimidating or infuriating. But the answers matter. Asking yourself these types of questions, and responding honestly with yourself will begin the process of healing.

Shanica DavisComment