March Sadness - Sweet 16

I was talking to my very first boyfriend the other day. We reminisced on when we saw Charlie’s Angels on our first date in 2000 at a rinky dink theater in San Bernardino. He was a charismatic Salvadorian boy who would carry my cheer box for me to the bus after football games and I was enamored. Clearly, it was meant to be. At least for as long as most 10th grade relationships last.

Needless to say, a lot of living and loving has happened since then. So, the biggest shock when we chatted wasn’t that he was a newly single Dad navigating the dating scene again, life happens. But what shocked me was that he had done a serious internal audit after his last breakup to figure out why love wasn’t working for him. Therapy… check. Exercise… check. Understanding and accepting his flaws… check. In the last two decades his emotional glow up was more than impressive, it was an indication of a trend that I am seeing in more millennial men – thank goodness – a real effort and intention on breaking up with purpose.

Is it because we listened to Shai?

In the subconscious of our minds, are we trying to mimic the passion of the music we heard before we understood what it meant?

Do the songs that soundtrack our loves throughout the ages make a difference in how we heal? That may be a reach. However, all I know is that I did not have my Littles spend a lifetime listening to Babyface to get their heart broken by someone who thinks Jacquees is the King of R&B.

I don’t even remember why we broke up. But I remember how typically innocent our relationship was. No social media or peer pressure to imitate adult relationships. Gel pen written letters handed off during passing period and phone conversations that ended when the cordless phone died. I know as time changes, so will our interactions, but I get now why people say, I miss the way it was.

Every first relationship should begin and end with a playlist deserving of all those new and raw emotions. Since we always look backwards as an indication of where we are now, it is only fitting that we celebrate the Sweet 16 of March Sadness with “Old School” songs that made us feel and heal. Classic, timeless, forever, all the things we thought our relationships would be. These songs your parents, and maybe grandparents, listened to after their break ups are still perfect today.

The Sweetest 16 of the Oldies:

Let’s Just Kiss and Sat Goodbye – Manhattans

How Can You Mend a Broken Heart – Al Green

She Used to Be My Girl – Ojays

So Very Hard to Go – Tower of Power

How Come You Don’t Call Me Anymore – Prince

I Wish It Would’ve Rained – The Temptations

Neither One of Us – Gladys Knight & the Pips

I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor

Guess Who I Saw Today – Nancy Wilson

The Rain – Oran Juice Jones

Cause I Love You – Lenny Williams

It Doesn’t Hurt Anymore – Regina Belle

If You Think You’re Lonely Now – Bobby Womack

She’s Out of My Life – Michael Jackson

Sail On By – Commodores

I Can’t Make You Love Me – Bonnie Raitt